How to get your husband to eat real food… A letter to fellow and future husbands, from a man who has been down deep in the trenches and survived, who can sympathize with you on your pain when all you want is something crunchy to snack on and something bubbly to drink. Except that your wife took away your Doritos soda and all you’re left with is celery sticks and water. I hear ya, man. Hang in there, you’ll be okay. Written by Mr. Crumbs.
Listen up. Life as you know it is ending.
Your wife is making changes to your kitchen… your pantry… your lunches?! Celery and carrot sticks are making their way into your lunch, she feeds you salads occasionally for dinner, and NOW she wants to EXCLUDE meat, and go all vegetarian – one night a week?
You come home from a long day’s work, open the cabinets and find:
Soda? It’s gone.
Dude, I know… been there.
Almost two years ago, I started coming home to science experiments on the kitchen counter. Strange, white-ish substances growing in clear liquid filled jars were sitting on the counter top. Stuff that resembled rice, but wasn’t quite rice, found its way into our dinners. Smoothies, containing who-knows-what, were now breakfast. Long gone were the days of my comfort breakfast: Quaker chewy granola bars (chocolate chip flavored, to be exact).
And there was my wife…. Smiling. No no no – BEAMING – so proud of her “accomplishments.”
I wanted Doritos.
But before you flip out, run to the store and stock up on Hot Pockets, chips and frozen mozzarella sticks, finish reading and hear me out.
How to Get Your Husband to Eat Real Food
You may be addicted to fake food!
I know this may sound strange, but you really may be addicted to the junk that’s found in most processed foods.
Do you find yourself craving a soda in the afternoons? Better yet, do you drink anything other than soda?!
Do you go out for fast food? Do you have a stash of candy at work, or buy the convenience bags of chips when you run into the gas station for a fill-up?
Yeah, that used to be me too. Chips at the gas station, Wendy’s for lunch and water… What’s water?
I was young(er) and considered myself bullet proof. (Um… yeah. But I had gum disease too.)
Your wife is looking out for you and your family.
Here’s the thing. Those Doritos don’t really contain cheese. Hot Pockets aren’t really pizza and that soda contains high fructose corn syrup, which after you read about it, you’ll probably never touch the stuff again.
Many health problems and diseases today stem from diet, but lucky for us, this addiction is easy to control. Plus, your doctor will love you and you’ll look forward to that yearly physical… Well, most of it.
Your wife doesn’t look so guilty now does she?
Give her a chance!
Seriously, your wife loves you to death and is only looking out for you. It’s time to give her a chance and not be so critical when it comes to the menu.
When dinner doesn’t look like, umm, dinner – try it anyway! If you don’t like it, eat as much as you can forcefully stuff into your mouth – and kindly, lovingly say:
Honey, thank you for dinner. It wasn’t my favorite meal, but I appreciate your creativity and hard work.
Trust me, she’ll get the hint that you didn’t like it and will never make it again (plus, you said it nicely enough that she won’t make you sleep on the couch).
Who knows – you may end up liking kefir and yogurt. And you’ll like it more when you’ve come to an understanding on how good pro-biotics actually are for your digestive system. Those weird vegetables called zucchini and squash will become your friends and your body will thank you.
As real food begins replacing the fake food in your diet, you’ll soon notice that you feel better, sleep better, and over time, the cravings for those foods you once loved will be gone.
By the way – you’ll save money.
Believe it or not, just because you eat whole-wheat pizza dough, brew kombucha or refuse to eat non-organic meat – doesn’t mean your wife will go out, buy a Mercedes Benz and start shopping at Whole Foods while sipping on a Starbucks iced coffee.
Eating real, GOOD food is affordable. In fact, simple math proves this. Eating real food is more affordable than processed foods.
For example, a combo meal from a standard fast food joint will run you around $7/meal. Lunch alone for a month will run over $200. That doesn’t include dinner. Say you did dinner as well ($200). That’s $400/month for one person. Not including breakfast. Add your wife… $800. Got kids – multiplier effect. And we all know, $7 for a meal when eating out is cheap.
Oh, and back to those Hot Pockets. You pay $4-5 for two? What if I told you that you could make your own, REAL and much better hot pockets with Italian tomatoes and fresh mozzarella for just $.86 each?!
We’re a little extreme and have a monthly food budget of $330, but we don’t skimp. On taco nights, I chow down on 6-8 freshly pressed corn tortillas or my favorite flour tortillas with fresh salsa, organic chicken, cilantro and an assortment of sides.
When it’s time to grill, we have fresh, organic bbq chicken with homemade bbq sauce. Steak nights, we graze on grass fed beef. Oh, and Italian….
Have you even tasted freshly made spaghetti – not from a box?
Do I have your attention now?
Your wife is right and you are wrong.
At least when it comes to diet anyways.
If your wife is trying to transition to a real food diet, support her, encourage her and at least give those weird foods a try. You’ll save money, feel better and most importantly – make your wife happy.